If you want yourself a spooky ghost story, I'd recommend avoiding Crimson Peak. Yes, on paper it definitely sounds like your typical gothic tale, what with the specters, dark romance, and cavernous old mansion to boot. However, in actuality, this movie is neither spooky or potently romantic. Director Guillermo del Toro seems to have take a very grandiose cinematic approach to this story, and I don't think it paid off. Perhaps, in an attempt to make this horror story more mainstream, del Toro tries to give his movie a sense of epic scale. This means lots of expansive sets, tons of extras running around in the background, and several CG ghosts that love the spotlight. It's all a lot of unnecessary flare that distracts from what should be a much more intimate story. The core of this narrative is its romance, but none of the cinematography emphasizes it. Almost every scene is cleanly lit and given fairly standard coverage; giving very few visual hints to what our characters are...

What does a crappy group project look like in movie form? One of the answers to this question could be Alita: Battle Angel. It seemed obvious to me that some of the crew working on this movie tried quite hard to make a good one, while some did not. It's a shame to see such excellent CGI animation wasted on a pretty slap-dash writing/directing job. The animators and half the cast seem to be the only ones who took things seriously. It doesn't help someone on the production just could not let Alita have normal-sized eyes. The only thing I don't like about the CGI is how hard they tried to recreate the Anime look with the main character. Her eyes never escaped the uncanny valley, and they completely overshadow the rest of the competent CGI. What's also distracting is how inconsistent the acting is across the cast. Half of the actors are trying their best, while half were just there for a pay cheque. Christoph Waltz never stopped looking awkward while holding that prop hamme...

Revisiting Amityville II: The Possession was a bit of a shocking experience. It's a much-maligned sequel to a movie that isn't all that great in its own right. And it exploits a real-life tragedy in the name of exploitation entertainment. On the surface, I should hate it.  But I don't. Scripted by Tommy Lee Wallace, and directed by Damiano Damiani, Amityville II is a very loose adaptation of Hans Holzer's Murder in Amityville. Hans Holzer is a well regarded author and paranormal investigator who investigated the actual Amityville Horror. His book, Murder in Amityville, was about the Defeo murders that occurred in 112 Ocean Avenue prior to the Lutz family moving in. This movie heavily alters the true story, changes the family name, and goes for pure Hollywood horror thrills and chills, baring little resemblance to the tragedy that really took place, other than the outcome.  As a movie inspired by a true story, or any kind of serious look into the paranormal, this flick i...

I think what sticks with me the most about the upcoming horror flick The Parish is how little of it has actually stuck with me, despite me enjoying the watch. Does that make sense? The story of a recently widowed woman and her daughter moving to a small town and falling under the influence of supernatural forces is a decent one. Lead actor Angela DiMarco does a solid job as the widow, bringing layers and strength to her character. Ditto veteran genre actor Bill Oberst Jr. as a priest who comes to her aid. And the film is well made.  But, despite the potential for scares and intensity, The Parish just sort of chugs along at a decent pace. There's no build up of tension heading into the final act, even with certain pieces of the supernatural puzzle revealed along the way. Things just fall into place, and get wrapped up in a neat little bow. The fault lies with director David Hogan and editor Tony Tibbetts. All the material was there, it just needed to be cut better for pacing and exc...

The 1982 Spanish slasher flick Pieces was marketed with two taglines; one being "You don't have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre," and the other "It's exactly what you think it is." And boy, are these accurate! Clearly inspired by the early work of Italian horror maestro Dario Argento, Pieces is a nasty... piece... of work that wears its exploitation genes on its sleeve (the movie was written by exploitation filmmaker Dick Randall). It tells the story of gruesome chainsaw murders at a college campus, and the police investigation that follows. The killer's motive? To build a human jigsaw puzzle piece, by piece, by piece... The film has been heavily criticized, saying it borderlines on pornography, and displays a negative attitude toward women. And it does! I've defended many a slasher film that's been similarly denounced, but Pieces takes things too far. Yeah, I said that. The violence is extreme, and all of it is directed at women who's...

Surprise, surprise. I was in the mood for something semi-Lovercraft again, so I decided to take a look at 2020's Underwater. While flawed in many ways, it certainly deserves that title. If there's one thing this movie does well, its make you realize how dangerous the deep ocean is. All monsters aside, the characters are constantly threatened by depressurization, and the whole ocean crumpling their base to tin foil. The setting plays a key role in the crew's survival, which is exactly what you want from a movie called Underwater. However, the setting and atmosphere are where my praises end for this film, as I found the rest pretty tiring. The worst element has to be the highly unqualified and shallow characters we're stuck with. Ninety percent of the problems and deaths in this movie come from these people making poorly thought out and rash decisions. Sure, the characters are under some pressure as everything around them leaks, but it's a bit much at times. Also, the...

When an actor transitions to directing, their films often hit or miss. Even if their ideas have serious potential, they might not fully understand what's necessary to bring them to life from behind the camera. This is the case with George Clooney's The Midnight Sky, which I'd almost sum up as a well-meaning student film with a full budget. It's clear there is an emotional story that Clooney is trying to mine from the script, but he isn't sure how. In trying to direct in a subtle and understated way, he gets too subtle and loses the emotional power behind most of the scenes. The saving grace is definitely the acting. Coming from an acting background, it's no surprise Clooney is able to pull sincere performances from (almost) the whole cast. Despite some of the shallow dialogue, he injects a lot of subtle, poignant emotion into everyone's delivery. Now as much as I think Clooney has room to grow as a director, the script did not do him any favours. This screen...

If you asked me for a confusing Christmas movie, I couldn't think of a better example than Christmas with the Kranks (2004) On the surface, this appears to be a typical holiday comedy aimed at parents and adults. But the films goes a bit farther than it intends, and makes some decisions that still baffle me to this day. It's almost a satire, but that seems to be totally by accident. If you haven't seen it, the crux of the movie is the Kranks want to take Christmas off by travelling to the Caribbean. Now, I understand this is a social faux pas, but when their neighbours find out, they take this too far. The community actually tries to force the Kranks to celebrate Christmas; going as far as to use cult-like intimidation techniques. I get it; Christmas is a big deal around here. But did we need to get the secret police involved? Then, after all that madness, the movie does a complete 720-degree flip. The Kranks stay home, pull together a Christmas party at the last minute, an...

Just in case you thought Americans were the only ones who make backwoods slasher movies, along comes the Polish effort Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight to prove us all wrong. And, for the most part, they do a pretty good job of it too. We get a solid backstory, some decent kills, ample gore, and that which is lacking in most horror movies these day -- sex and Female Chest Nudity! The story follows a group of technology-dependent youth who go to an offline camp and face a sinister danger lurking in the woods. That danger is a pair of deformed killers who delight in stabbing, smashing and ripping our teenagers limb from limb. Nothing too original here, other than the killers' backstory, which I won't spoil. And the offline camp idea is really just a modern spin on the traditional summer camp. So don't expect any social commentary or hidden agenda... even with a gay character included among the ranks.  But we do get lots of what we're here to see, as I stated already. No...

The Call has a strong horror pedigree attached to it, given it features icons Tobin Bell and Lin Shaye in prominent roles. And these two titans add a lot of gravitas to an otherwise routine romp. Not to say The Call doesn't have its merits. It does. The premise is fairly original when all's told, and there's a pretty strong moral message as well. These elements, along with some pretty strong acting, raise The Call above a lot of the other recent horror releases we've seen. The Call takes place in 1987, and finds a group of friends playing a sinister game after a tragic accident brings them to a couple's door. That's the simple, Cliff's Notes version of the tale, as there's a lot more going on beneath the surface. Each of these friends has a tragic backstory which is fleshed out during the night as they partake in an eerie phone call that literally reaches beyond the grave. This is a pretty cool idea, and some of the material is well presented. Sadly, all...

Ever wanted the definitive movie about making wishes? Wish Upon is absolutely NOT the movie for you. This "film" is yet another "masterpiece" brought to you by the director of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. It's a hilariously awful display of brain-dead characters, logic resembling Swiss cheese, and "witty" writing totally not shat out by an out-of-touch old person. You will be constantly switching between yelling at your screen, and dying of laughter as you watch this. This story is an in-depth character study of Clare (Joey King); an in-depth study of how stupid, shallow, and inconsistent she is. She manages to get five wishes deep without realizing the box is obviously granting them. Once she realizes what's going on, she proceeds to wish for the most vapid and simplistic things. You could explain this away by giving specific rules for the wish box, but of course the movie explains the thing as vaguely as possible. For all we know, Clare could...

File this one under WTF! I stumbled across WNUF Halloween Special while browsing through Shudder late one night, which is probably the best time to watch this curiosity piece of a movie... or should I say "movie?" Presented as a Halloween night local news broadcast in 1987, WNUF Halloween Special follows a TV news personality as he leads a team of paranormal investigators and an exorcist into an abandoned home with a notorious past. The broadcast has the look, feel and commercials those of us who grew up during the 80s, and watched this kind of thing, would expect. And, on a nostalgia level, this is pretty entertaining stuff. The film's six directors shot this on vintage tape stock, so WNUF Halloween Special looks like it was pulled from the era. And they captured the tone of those smaller market news casts, commercials, and production values perfectly, while poking gentle fun at them as well. Is WNUF Halloween Special (I just liking writing that out) scary? No. And it do...

I loved Mike Flanagan's reimagining of The Haunting of Hill House when it hit Netflix two years ago. It was a great -- and often downright scary -- series that used Shirley Jackson's classic novel as the springboard for something unique among horror television.  No, I'm not going to explain it all again. But you can re-read my review right here . Now Flanagan, and much of the Hill House cast, are back with a follow up, this time pulling heavily from Henry James's The Turn of the Screw to tell a new story with a new roster of characters. Does magic strike twice? Yes and no. For one, everyone is so good here, especially Victoria Pedretti. She had a small role in Hill House, but is front and centre this time, and highly likable and engaging. Most of what goes on at Bly Manor is seen through her eyes, and she owns it. So yeah, great cast and acting! The production design and filmmaking are also spot on. Hill House was a moody and atmospheric affair, and so is Bly Manor. And...

This week I was in a bit of an H.P. Lovecraft mood, so I found The Dunwich Horror on Amazon Prime. Now, I should have expected a shit-show with its text only thumbnail, but I hoped it would at least be fun-bad. I was wrong. One could say this film is a perfect example of how not to adapt old H.P. This movie lacks subtly, tact, and the foreboding tone necessary for a Lovecraft story to get under your skin. Now, this version was clearly made for TV, so you might think that explains the poor quality. However, I still think this would have blown with the budget the filmmakers clearly wanted. They took Lovecraft's story, and tried to make a National Treasure/Indiana Jones kind of adventure out of it. Not only does that clash with the intended horror tone, but it highlights how dated Lovecraft's writing can be. A lot of characters are written like old stereotypes from the 1920s, despite it taking place in the modern day. The only positive element here is Jeffrey Combs as Wilbur Whate...

The latest foray into the home-invasion thriller subgenre is called The Owners. And, as with movies like Don't Breathe and others before it, it turns out it's the home owners we need to worry about, not those breaking in. In this case, the owners are a kindly old couple who grow increasingly kookier as the film goes on, exploding in an admittedly chaotic climax that didn't go exactly as I thought, so kudos to director Julius Berg for that. The first half of the movie is pretty damn tense, introducing us to a group of desperate characters who think they've found an easy score. Berg ratchets up the tension as the would-be thieves turn on themselves as the owners subtly pit them against each other. This is very good stuff indeed, and pays off brilliantly. Too bad the half hour that follows, up until the climactic showdown, didn't click for me. At one point I wondered why hero Maisie Williams and her one capable "sidekick" didn't just crosscheck the old co...

I'm not sure we really needed another Bill & Ted movie, given the last effort came out in 1991. I'm thinking the only reason we got one is because of the world's current love affair with Keanu Reeves. And hey, he seems like an awesome dude, so why not. It's funny how Reeves was so associated with Ted that it took a good, long time for moviegoers to embrace him in any other kind of role. Now that he's created another iconic character, John Wick, I found it hard to accept him as Ted... who is about the furthest thing from Wick as you can get. And it took a while for me to accept this new Bill & Ted movie too... like at least a half hour to 40 minutes. There are few laughs up until then, and the film's goofy charm had to work overtime to win me over. But once Bill & Ted start travelling into the future to find a song that will unite mankind and prevent the collapse of all time, and their daughters (well played by Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-...

OK, let's face it; we all like a good haunted house flick. There's something comforting in watching a genre where you know what you're getting going in and, as long as the movie delivers, you're happy. Widow's Point, the latest from writer/director Greg Lamberson, is very much a classic haunted house movie. You've got a great setting -- in this case a lighthouse -- with a grisly past, and more spirits than you can shake a stick at. And it's all handled in a fairly restrained and respectable manner, with an emphasis placed on genuine chills over jump scares and gore. And the film is headlined by Craig Sheffer, who I haven't seen in a movie for a long, long time. And he owns this one with a great performance, slowly descending into insanity as the film carries on. Jack Nicholson could've learned a thing or two from Sheffer's work here had this film come out before The Shining. Yup, went there. Sheffer plays a down-on-his-luck writer who d...

I love Westerns, and I love horror. So a horror/Western should be a done deal in terms of a good night at the movies, right? Well, sometimes. Bone Tomahawk was great, and I didn't mind Dead Birds. The Burrowers had potential, but wasn't quite a win. Sadly, The Pale Door from director/co-writer Aaron B. Koontz is also such a flick. All the elements are there are on the Western front, from the gang of outlaws looking to rob a train to a gunfight on Main Street. And the horror tropes -- coven of freaky ass witches, blood and guts, and a few jump scares -- are also on hand. In fact, the film reminded me a lot of From Dusk Till Dawn in the way it plays out. We get a straight-up Western until about the 50-minute mark, then the witches come into play in the film's best -- and bloodiest -- sequence. I was impressed! The problem I have with The Pale Door is the tone and pacing. The film moves too slowly to generate much excitement, at least until the witches are revealed. ...

I've been in quite a kung fu mood as of late, so I decided to check out Jackie Chan's Crime Story. Unfortunately, this really wasn't a martial arts flick, even with Jackie being front and centre. This movie was trying to be more of a traditional action movie, to its detriment, in my opinion. The problem is this film ended up feeling like a martial arts movie, but without the fighting. Just as in kung fu fashion, this movie had a meandering plot based around a bunch of set pieces. However, the set pieces are mostly standard gun fights that would've been great at the time, but seem simple nowadays. It doesn't help that in between these set pieces is a pretty generic story without any interesting characters. However, there is one genuine fight scene in this movie, and it was excellent. Jackie gets into a scrap in a marketplace, and it's a real knock-down, drag-out brawl. It's a shame there wasn't more of these scenes in this film. All in all, this...

Disappointing is the word that pops to mind when I reflect back on the new Mel Gibson movie Force of Nature. Then again, I didn't really expect much going in. Gibson has long been removed from the Hollywood A-list, a shame given how good an actor he is. And he is good in this movie, which is essentially Die Hard in An Apartment During a Hurricane. In Puerto Rico, I might add. Thing is, Gibson probably shot his scenes in a couple of days, and he's basically hit the Cranky Old Man part of his career, which is a shame. But he appears to have fun in the flick, which pits art thieves against Emile Hirsch and Stephanie Cayo's cops. Gibson is a former cop and Kate Bosworth his daughter, a nurse who happens to be on site when the hurricane hits and the art thieves show up. The problem is 95 percent of the movie is totally forgettable. We've seen this before, done better, in many different movies. One-location action movies are fine, but director Michael Polish doesn...