The world needs a really good medieval horror movie. Season of the Witch isn't it. I will be brief.
14th-century knights transport a suspected witch to a monastery, where monks deduce her powers could be the source of the Black Plague.
First off, don't make a movie called Season of the Witch and not have the main baddie a witch. That's blatant false advertising. A big fuck you to the audience. Spoiler alert, by the way.
Second, don't let Nicolas Cage play a Knights Templar. Ever. That's like casting Keanu Reeves in a Dracula movie. It's something you just don't do.
Thirdly, fuck this movie. Hard. Aside from some good lines by way of Ron Perlman, a few snazzy visuals and the hotness of Claire Foy as the witch who isn't a witch, this flick is a total waste of time. It annoyed me. Worse, it bored me. Don't bore me, movie!
Ugly.
14th-century knights transport a suspected witch to a monastery, where monks deduce her powers could be the source of the Black Plague.
First off, don't make a movie called Season of the Witch and not have the main baddie a witch. That's blatant false advertising. A big fuck you to the audience. Spoiler alert, by the way.
Second, don't let Nicolas Cage play a Knights Templar. Ever. That's like casting Keanu Reeves in a Dracula movie. It's something you just don't do.
Thirdly, fuck this movie. Hard. Aside from some good lines by way of Ron Perlman, a few snazzy visuals and the hotness of Claire Foy as the witch who isn't a witch, this flick is a total waste of time. It annoyed me. Worse, it bored me. Don't bore me, movie!
Ugly.
Shawn here. I endorse this review. It's as if I wrote every single word, myself! I agree completely! haha.
ReplyDeleteThis only solidifies my dislike for nick cage.