Okay, let's see what we've got here... *inhales deeply* bloody, skinless people, crimson soaked masturbation, a giant phallic worm creature, sado-masochistic cutting and stabbing, familial molestation, necrophilia, and brutal slayings of mentally ill and handicapped people--THE ARISTOCRATS! I would not have been surprised at all if this 'Hellraiser' sequel had ended with that punch line. This movie is absolutely nuts.

"Jesus wept!" You can thank actor Andrew Robinson for that now iconic line because it was never originally written that way by Clive Barker, who had something more vulgar in mind however the actor's suggestion would win out in the end, and a classic horror scene was born!

That's right, the man who created the cenobites and wrote and directed the original Hellraiser -- Clive Barker -- is on board to write the Dimension Films remake! And the good, and ultimately surprising, news doesn't stop there. Doug Bradley , who played head cenobite Pinhead in the original film series, will return to the role that made him a horror icon. How do we know this? Barker said so on his official Facebook page : HOT FROM HELL! My friends,I have some news which may be of interest to you. A few weeks ago I had a very productive meeting with Bob Weinstein of Dimension Pictures,in the course of which I pitched a remake of the first HELLRAISER film. The idea of my coming back to the original film and telling the story with a fresh intensity-honoring the structure and the designs from the first incarnation but hopefully creating an even darker and richer film-was attractive to Dimension. Today I have officially been invited to write the script based up...

Good news/bad news time on the Hellraiser remake front. Custom renders we dictate the bad news first so here it goes: it's still getting made. The good news is it will be rated R. Back in October we reported that Dimension Films was moving ahead with a PG-13 Hellraiser remake, which is like adding insult to injury. If we're going to suffer a reboot of Clive Barker's classic, at least give us our blood. Maybe the folks over at Dimension read our blog, maybe not, but they've decided to do just that. Director Patrick Lussier and screenwriter Todd Farmer, who partnered on the great My Blood Valentine 3D and the upcoming Drive Angry 3D, are on the project. This news also holds promise, although it means there's a good chance the Hellraiser project will be in the third dimension. Snore! Once again, stop with the remakes! Just sto . . . Fuck  it. You don't listen anyways, Hollywood.

But, sadly, it sounds like that is the case according to boys over at Bloody Disgusting . Dimension's planned relaunch of Clive Barker's classic is aiming for a PG-13 rating when it eventually hits theatres. The website reports that the toned-down Lament Configuration could be directed by Christian E. Christiansen (say that name 10 times fast), who helmed the upcoming teen-themed thriller The Roomate. Pascal Laugier, director of the bloody French horror film Maryrs, was previously attached. As far as we in The Basement are concerned anything less than a hard-R Hellraiser film is pointless. Pinhead is all about the ripping of flesh and making one's suffering legendary. How Dimension expects to do that on a PG-13 film is beyond me. We have a better idea, Dimension: why not leave Hellraiser well enough alone!?!