Saturday, October 5, 2013

The Month of Horror Day 5: Idle Hands

Basement contributor Matt Bellamy has taken it upon himself to watch and review at least one horror movie a day for the month of October . . . because he's awesome that way! Today, Bellamy travels back to a time when Jessica Alba was hot. Wait . . .

Remember when Devon Sawa was a thing? Ahh the 90's, they were simpler times and we apparently enjoyed seeing Mr. Sawa in movies but then the millennium hit and we just kind of forgot all about him; Seth Green is alive and well though! First off, this is not a good movie, it's actually pretty terrible yet for some reason it's enjoyable on a "comfort food" sort of level. You don't need to think, you can easily text on your phone or browse the Internet while it's on in the background and you won't miss much. The humour is juvenile and obvious, the acting is bad, and the storyline is totally one-note BUT Jessica Alba wears revealing outfits in it and the lead singer from The Offspring dies so that's cool! 

So basically, the whole movie borrows heavily from a single scene in Evil Dead II where the main character's hand gets demonically possessed and he has to "deal with it". It was hilarious in Evil Dead because it wasn't over-used but in Idle Hands, well... that's pretty much all there is. "I can't control my hand, it's trying to kill/maim/grope everything in sight!". Insert masturbation joke, stoner humour, some boobs. Rinse. Repeat. Wait, that actually doesn't sound too bad at all! And it's not! The movie just starts running in circles after awhile and really doesn't add up to much in the end, that's all. Again, it's very watchable, you'll chuckle here and there, and there are far worse ways to spend ninety minutes of your time but it's sure no classic.

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