Monday, March 25, 2013

Mike S tweets Hard Boiled

Once a week our mad twit Mike S from the Corner of Terror will shanghai The Basement's Twitter account and tweet along to a non-horror movie, all for your Internet pleasure. Cool, yes!?! We think so. 

For his latest exercise in 140 characters or less, The S decided to enter the slow-mo, dove-infested world of action maestro John Woo with 1992's Hard Boiled. His thoughts are cut and paste below.

You know a movie is introducing a bad ass character when they start with a shot of tumbler of tequila being poured...  

Somehow, I always imagined that Jazz would fit into a Hong Kong action film quite well...  

I love how 1990's films aren't as glossy looking as more recent films. Easier on the eyes, I find.  

I think it would be cool if North America had tea houses that allowed you to bring your pet birds to.  

Cue the slow-mo entrance of some baddies.  

The tea house shoot out is one of the reasons John Woo is considered the Master of action scenes.  

I have to wonder though, how much of the Police Department's budget was spent on the ammo used in the tea house shootout  

Just saw a chicken take flight during the shootout... precursor to John Woo's trademark doves taking flight, maybe?  

: "You're such an asset. Give him a gun & he's Superman- give him two & he's God!"

John Woo has a walk on role in ... as a club owner named... Mr. Woo.

I tend not to trust guys that use handkerchiefs to avoid putting prints on turn stiles...  

The library scene mixes slow-mo and flashbacks nicely.  

: Religious shrines in Police buildings. .

When your woman hands you your underwear wrapped in plastic wrap... you know you're in trouble.  

Wanna win the heart of a Hong Kong ganglord? Bring him beef jerky...  

HelpfulHint: If your top shooter gets killed- hire the shooter that killed him... He's obviously better.  

I can tell the guy in the black pants, turtleneck, jacket and shades is a bad ass...  

Arguments in the office ALWAYS draw crowds...  

Cue the gang members riding out for a hit on motorcycles...  

The warehouse shootout is a marvelous concerto of destruction.  

When the good guy is slowly loading his shotgun- you know things are gonna get real...  

Cue the smoke grenade... and hell breaking loose...  

I'm really amazed that more actors weren't hurt doing these action scenes...  

My niece would love the zebra print car seat covers in this car...  

: "Woe betide anyone who tries to stop me."

I have bad dreams about being shot and losing an eye... Unlike the baddie on the boat, I survive.  

I think we're about to head into the hospital shoot out... which is close to an hour in length... AWESOME!  

It's amazing how easy it is to pose as a cop in action movies from the 1980's & 1990's...

I'm not sure I'd classify blood splattered across a window as being... "nothing"  

If I were to have a secret lair, the entrance would be in a morgue... or a men's room.  

Some cool MacGyver shit going on with gunpowder right now... I expect a boom soon.  

And the hospital mayhem kicks off...  

Yeah, show how tough you are by kicking a hospital patient... Real manly, dude.  

I can only imagine the time it took to choreograph all the people in the hospital shootout...  

The way the one cop holds his pistols, his shots would wind up in the baddies' privates...  

I love how one of the baddies jumped up on a bench in front of a window just so he could get shot through it...  

I'm curious... who pays for the property damage after a shootout like this?  

: NEVER slap a woman with a gun. Seriously, dude. It won't end well.

John Woo did the "opponents on opposite sides of the wall and shooting at each other" in "Hard Target" as well.  

The true hero of the movie is the baby the puts out the fire on the cop by peeing on him...  

Never force the hero to say he's impotent... you'll lose an eye.  

With the shot of a sailboat heading into the distance, comes to an end- and so does this week's tweet-along.

I'm going to give a good... with awesome sauce and a side of kick ass. 

Tune in to @camethebasement next Sunday at 7 p.m. PST as Mike S. tweets along to another non-horror film.

You can follow Mike S @TerrorCorner
 

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