Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Lucas f--ks with Star Wars some more

Four words: George Lucas Death Clock. What is it? Something we're working on for Season Two. Why? Like you have to ask!

Lucas is an asshole. Sure, he was God when were kids. He created one of the most beloved film franchises of all time when he made Star Wars. It turned almost an entire generation -- my generation -- into a generation of movie nerds. Star Wars is nerd porn. 'Nuff said.

When he tinkered with the original trilogy and released the films in theatres in the late 90s people were so overjoyed at being able to watch the movies on the big screen again that they were willing to forgive the changes. Well, maybe not Han firing first but still.

Then came the prequels and everyone realized what a tool Lucas is and how he doesn't give a flying fuck about his fanbase. Now the original trilogy is about to be released on Blu-Ray and guess what, he's fucked with them some more.

First off, when Obi Wan saves Luke from the Sandpeople in Episode IV his scream has been changed from the Krayt Dragon call (thank you Nordling from AICN) to something, well, I'm not sure what it is. But it doesn't sound like it could scare away a Smurf.

But the big piss off, the one that has my vowing to NEVER BUY THIS SERIES ON BLU-RAY, is what he did to Darth Vadar in Return of the Jedi. Vadar says "No" before he saves Luke and dumps the Emperor down that shaft. And it's not a defiant no, it's that melodramatic no he utters at the end of Revenge of the Sith. He's taken one of the most pitch perfect moments in the original trilogy and pissed all over it. Don't believe me? See for yourself:

How's that shake up your spinal cord? Fuck you, George Lucas. We're readying the George Lucas Death Clock, which we'll explain further in the coming weeks. I'm sticking with the original versions of the original trilogy even if they are in glorious mono.

Star Wars hits Blu-Ray . . . none of your business. Don't buy them! It'll just encourage Lucas to keep fucking with his movies.


  1. Other than the need to milk the Star Wars fanbase of more of its money- which it could be spending on Star Trek stuff, does he feel that he has to keep "fixing" these films. If he felt that they're so imperfect, why doesn't he just start from bloody scratch again?

    Maybe because "Star Wars" is the ONLY thing he's really known for now...

  2. Sooooo... when Lucas is done "tinkering" with Star Wars... we can expect him to start doing it to Indiana Jones?

    That bloody sucks.