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Review: Flay

It's rare a film comes along that I want to like, but end of hating beyond even words. Flay happens to be one of them.

Which is too bad, as I am interested in the Slender Man mythos and believe there's a good movie in the idea. But Sony, who blocked the release of Flay because they own the rights to the Slender character, couldn't make a good film out of it either, so what do I know.

Not a question, a fact.

What I do know is this movie blows. It's not scary. The plot doesn't make a lot of sense. Scenes just come and go without a beginning or end. Director Eric Pham cut his teeth as a special effects guy on Grindhouse and Sin City, and I hoped that would mean good SPFX here... but nope.

Characters? Highly unlikable. I wanted them all to die brutally (more on that later). Only leads Elle LaMont and Johnny Walter muster any sympathy or interest. And yes, LaMont is gorgeous. More on that later too.

Here's where Flay offends the most. For a movie called Flay, we don't see anyone get flayed. Nor is there any bloodshed. People just die, usually off camera. I can kinda accept shit like that from a Hollywood studio film, but not an indie horror. I want blood, dammit! Give me blood!

Back to LaMont, and the other hotties in Flay. Now, we get them scantily clad and taking off their tops, but not boobies. Again, this is an indie movie... TITS OR FUCK OFF!

Horror is supposed to be exploitation, not watered down, generic crap. Flay could have redeemed itself had it delivered on the exploitation. Instead, we got an indie horror film that wanted to be a PG-13 studio effort. To that, I say fuck you.

An Ugly.
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