From the Corner: "Quarantine" (2008)

I'm going to keep this review of 2008's "Quarantine" brief.

Why? Because if I didn't keep it brief, I would spend the whole article just cursing.

And I try to be strategic with my cursing.

This film simply fucking sucked.

The story premise was interesting, but standard for the "Rage Zombie" type of film. Everything that occurred was predictable. Fucking predictable. From start to end.

Oh- and major fucking spoilers. It's fucking rabies. Rabies, people- rabies. And it takes half the fucking movie for them to fucking figure it out. What, the fucking vet- someone who fucking deals with animals, can't tell what rabies fucking looks like? Fuck you, movie. Just fuck you.

Sorry. This movie brings out the "Mulholland Drive" hate in me.

The characters. The fucking characters. Just fuck them. Of the entire cast of about 18 characters, there's only ONE that's likable. ONE. The rest? I couldn't care less.

There was some decent acting on the part of the actor that played the one likable character. Jay Hernandez was enjoyable to watch. Actually, on second thought, Johnathon Schaech was decent as George- the fireman with the pornstache. He made me hate an unlikable character... sooooo, I guess that's an accomplishment.

The camera work is fairly standard for "found footage" movies: shaky, blurry at times, lots of shots of the floor, roof, wall, the back of people's heads... and the occasional decent shot of the actual action. The shot at the top of this article counts... and the shot of one of the infected bashing her head on the railing as she fall down the center of the staircase.

Seriously, this movie is a disgrace. I don't know why Hollywood has to remake foreign films (this movie is based on the Spanish film, [REC]). From what I've heard, the original Spanish film is far superior.

I'm not even going to place this movie in a category. I'm just going to fucking kill it with fire. This movie isn't even worth a fucking "Ugly" rating. Just fuck it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to inject myself with rabies, since that'd be more enjoyable than this movie...

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