Warning: this review was written after a Scotch, two rum and Cokes, and four beer. That'll be all. A chronicle of the decade-long hunt for al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden after the September 2001 attacks, and his death at the hands of the Navy S.E.A.L. Team 6 in May 2011. First off, despite the pairing of director Kathryn Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal, this sure as shit ain't no Hurt Locker. That's not to say it's crap, because it isn't. But it's too long and lacks the visceral kick of the writer/director's previous collaboration. Does that mean it sucks? Fuck no. No movie with a special appearance by Scott Adkins and Area 51 can suck. Plus the last hour and 15 minutes, which highlights the final stalk and kill of bin Laden, is pure cinematic gold. But the hour and 30 minutes prior to that could use some trimming. That said, this is still a decent bit of real world gritty reality. It features a bad-ass cast, featuring significantly a...

I'm going to share a little something about myself here and admit to being claustrophobic. Small spaces? Hate them. Elevators? Thanks, but no. I will walk 35 flights of stairs before riding in one.  No bullshit. My fear of elevators hasn't deterred me from watching the elevator-themed movie Devil. I've avoided it because of the whole M. Night Shyamalan thing. That and why would the devil hang out in an elevator anyway? But being trapped in an elevator with a bomb? Yeah, I get that. Which is why the plot for Stig Svendsen's thriller Elevator has me sold. The independent flick features nine partygoers trapped 50 floors above Manhattan with said bomb. Not my idea of a good time, but the trailer below does show promise. Mind you, that's what trailers are supposed to do. The film is due out later this year. Check out the official website to learn more and, as always, we'll keep you posted. By the way, I have no idea what's wrong with the woman in the pic...

The Joneses Jason: The Joneses has a lot to say about consumerism, the economic crisis and people's willingness to go into debt to achieve the American dream. However, what good intentions co-writer/director Derrick Borte had for his film are shattered by a storyline that refuses to break free of the shackles set by mainstream Hollywood. David Duchovny is still a fun screen presence and Demi Moore is looking great at 47, but I didn't buy their romance one bit. And spare me the warm, fuzzy happy ending. This could have been a good movie, but instead it rates a Bad. Shawn: Hello X-Files and G.I .Jane, long time no see.  This was the best you could get? I get it. Keep up with the Joneses. But even the Joneses are fucked up. The chemistry was terrible between Demi and Duchovny.  I know the relationship was supposed to be awkward, but the performances seemed just a little too rough around the edges. And salespeople with consciences? Please. I guess I'll have to wait for ka...