Retro Review: The Class of 1984 (1983)

The Class of 1984 is a button pusher of a movie. It makes you mad, and has you yelling at the screen at times, in a good way. Sure, it's a B-grade exploitation movie with a heavy handed message, but it's also a lot of gruesome fun, even if you want to punch your TV.

Why punch the TV? Because you get so frustrated at how Timothy Van Patten's villain gets away with so much, when he's really just a manipulative -- and destructive -- little shit who should have been put in his place as a child. Did screenwriters Tom Holland and John Saxton have something to say about bad parenting? I'm thinking so.

As a result, we get about 90 minutes of Perry King's music teacher trying to reason with, outthink and even outmuscle Van Patten and his gang of hoods, who rule the school through violence and intimidation. In the end, we get a great showdown, where King has to confront Van Patten's gang. Fortunately this pay off is worth the time getting there.

The movie has a solid cast, including the always reliable Roddy McDowell, and a very young Michael J. Fox. Mark Lester's direction is solid, and the film just works. What more can I say? I'm glad good triumphant over punk-ass little shits, and I'm giving it a Good.

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The Animated Addict: "The Adventures of Tintin" (2011)

If you're a 40 + white dude, like myself, you may remember a comic series called " The Adventures of Tintin ". I know I remember them. This series, dating back to 1929, got turned into a animated feature film by Steven Spielberg in 2011. After buying a model of ship called The Unicorn, teenaged journalist Tintin finds himself on adventure that will take him from the high seas, to the low deserts, and from the distant past to the present. With his trusty dog, Snowy, by his side, Tintin uncovers a story connecting two men across the centuries.. . The story is really quite good. It's well crafted, and high paced- with just enough slow moments to build and develop the world and the characters. This is the sort of adventure story you'd find in the old serials of the 1930's and '40's. In fact, it felt like it was the sort of tale that you'd find Indiana Jones undertaking. I found myself swept up, and swept along as our hero swung from one e...

#CocktailHour: Slushtail

Summer approaches, inspiring thoughts of sunshine, backyard parties, and having a tip and sip with friends. With that in mind, I bring you this week sunny beverage. To make a slushtail, mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade (or limeade), a can of pineapple juice, a couple cups of black tea (or English Breakfast), and two cups of bourbon- such as Southern Comfort, in a pitcher. When it's all nicely mixed, put it in the freezer until it's a nice slushy consistency. Scoop the slush into a cocktail glass, and pour in some Sprite or 7-Up. Add a little umbrella for some frivolous fun, and a straw. Voila! Ready to enjoy. This is a very refreshing drink. The fruit juices, Sprite, and bourbon- when chilled makes for a great punch-like drink. The bourbon doesn't overwhelm juices. In fact, they are all nicely balanced in terms of flavors. The sourness of the citrus fruits contrasts well with the slightly sweeter Sout...

Unlock your fate with The Puzzle

When my dad wasn't working, building stuff or being my dad, he was making puzzles. It was a guaranteed way for him to unwind. So it was with great interest that I sat down to watch Italian filmmaker Davide Melini's award-winning short The Puzzle. You see, the mother in the five-minute film likes to relax with puzzles just like my dad. Unfortunately, her good-for-nothing son keeps harassing her for money. Losing herself in her favourite passtime, the mother soon discovers that completing this puzzle might unlock a nightmare. The Puzzle has been an official selection at more European film festivals than you can shake a stick at, and was voted Third Best Italian Film at the Rome International Film Festival in 2008. Having watched it, I'm not surprised. It's a tight little film that hits you hard in the final few seconds. You can tell Melini cut his teeth as an assistant director for legendary Italian filmmaker Dario Argento. But enough chit chat on my part. See if yo...

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