Halloween Day by Day: "The Wicker Man" (2006)

Some remakes are amazing and awesome- like John Carpenter's "The Thing". They reintroduce a great story to a new audience, while examining the themes and characters through a modern lens- and inspiring up and coming film makers to ask themselves how they'd tell the story themselves.

Others...

Well..

Um...

*sigh* Some just fucking suck...

Detective Malus receives a letter from his ex that their daughter has gone missing. Determined to find her, he travels to the neo-pagan commune where she lives to investigate.

Soon, he finds that all is not what it seems... and that he became a pawn in a chess game dating back years...

And he gets stung by bees... a lot of bees...

Don't watch 2006's "The Wicker Man". I mean it. Don't.

The concept was interesting, as is the basic story. That wasn't the problem. The problem was everything else.

I didn't like ANY of the characters- including Malus. None of them. They were all bland and dull and boring.

I didn't like the acting- including Nicolas Cage's. Usually, he's entertaining with his scenery chewing- but not this time. This time he was just too hammy, and boring.

When a movie viewer's brain starts quoting lines from "The Rock", but the movie they're watching ISN'T "The Rock", you know the movie's bad, folks.

Like intestinal flu induced shotgun shitting bad.

I have to put "The Wicker Man" in "The Ugly".

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