Halloween Day by Day: "Angst" (2003)

During this years, 24 hour horror movie tweet along, I tweeted along to a British horror film called "Angst", and I felt it deserved a few words...

Helen can't have sex... because her talking vagina devours men.

Dennis can't follow through on his love for Helen... because he's wanted for the murder of a conjoined twin.

What fate awaits these two... and all those that get involved in their lives?

2003's "Angst" (also called "Penetration Angst"), by director Wolfgan Buld, was a painful experience for me.

The story was just a rambling mess of nonsensical gibberish: talking vaginas, conjoined twins, a bank robbing stripper, a panty sniffing cop, and a rapist in a gimp mask who's crippled by a stuffed bunny on the stairs.

Oh.. and the fakest mustache in history:

A horror all its own...

The characters were all just fucked right up- ALL of them. The cop fiance is a panty sniffer, the gyno is a rapist, Dennis takes an electric carving knife to a set of conjoined twins, and the stripper only wants to rob banks with Dennis BECAUSE he's wanted for murder.

Don't get me started on the acting. Right- you got me started on the acting.

Sheer crap. Utter dog poo smeared on the wall crap. This is what it's like when shit french kisses the fan.

After watching this movie, I needed to take six Extra Strength Tylenol, and do some breathing exercises because this movie just hurt my brain that much. This crap is just bad, unentertaining, nonsensical shit. Don't watch. Don't even think about watching. Just pass that thought right on by, and nope the fuck out of its vicinity. An absolute, rock bottom "Ugly" from me.

Comments

Justin Cider welcomes a Homewrecker to the Fanily

COVID-19 has impacted pretty much everything and, although some industries have slowly been able to get rolling again, sport is one that remains in limbo. This holds true for the world of Thrash Wrestling, which we in The Basement are a proud sponsor of. But the men and woman of Thrash Wrestling continue to challenge each other, and entertain fans, in a creative way. Which is why Jason and Shawn welcome Thrash Wrestler Justin Cider into the ring... err, Basement, when From The Basements takes over the Radio NL 610 AM airwaves at 6:05 tonight! Cider will update listeners on how Thrash Wrestling continues with social distancing in place. And he'll shed some light on the future of the sport, how people can support his Fanily, and more! And stick with us, as Justin joins The Basement Boys for a review of the new horror/comedy Homewrecker starring Alex Essoe and Precious Chong. Does this female-focused comedic thriller deliver the goods? Tune in after the 6 o'clock news ...

Top 5 quotes from the Rambo franchise

It's Rambo Day, which means it's a day we celebrate all things Rambo. And no, we didn't make that up. It's a real thing, and part of the lead in to Rambo: Last Blood coming out on Friday. We were going to celebrate by doing a Top 5 favourite Rambo kills, but the fine folks at Arrow in the Head already did something like that, so I figured why not share our favourite Rambo quotes. I like quotes. Quotes are good. Anyway, here we go with our Top 5, in no particular order: 5) "They drew first blood." - John Rambo, First Blood (1982) Because it's always cool when the hero references the title of the movie in a quote. 4) "Live for nothing, or die for something. Your call." - John Rambo, Rambo (2008) Because it's 100-per-cent truth, and is the exclamation mark on a great monologue by Stallone. 3) "I could have killed 'em all. I could kill you. In town, you're the law. Out here, it's me. Don't push it, or I'l...

Grace Victoria Patterson returns

What's this? Two podcasts From The Basement in less than nine months? Has the world gone mad!?! No, but when past Basement guest Grace Victoria Patterson asked nicely if she could return to this fine podcast, Jason and Shawn -- agreeable sorts that they are -- said yes. Hence we have this new episode for your ear holes! Grace provides an update on her career, which has seen the cheerleader-turned-actress appear in no fewer than eight films plus a TV series, with more projects on the way. She and Jason talk all about this, plus some other stuff. What kind of stuff? Stick with us! And stay tuned, as The Basement Boys discuss a whole slew of movies and television, including the Netflix Jimmy Savile documentary, The Batman, the horror romp The Cellar and more! It's podcasting that's so awesome, you'll be awesomed out by its awesomeness! What are you waiting for? Push play and enjoy!

Search This Blog