A space ranger and his guide fight a wizard who rules with a giant crystal.
That's the premise behind Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, a would-be sci-fi "epic" that road the wave of early 80s 3D movies. I remembered it fondly from my youth . . . Then I recently revisited it.
Yup, sometimes, you just can't go home again.
Metalstorm is slow and boring, with lazily paced action scenes and a boring as fuck hero. Sure, he gets to fight Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) and snuggle with a very young -- and very gorgeous -- Kelly Preston, but who gives a shit.
I should, because who doesn't want to fight Bull from Night Court, and snuggle with Kelly Preston prior to John Travolta getting his mitts on her, but I just can't.
So boring hero, boring action scenes, weak special effects, and a lot of shots of people driving around. And none of it in 3D. Fuck you, Metalstorm. Hard. You rate an Ugly.
That's the premise behind Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, a would-be sci-fi "epic" that road the wave of early 80s 3D movies. I remembered it fondly from my youth . . . Then I recently revisited it.
Yup, sometimes, you just can't go home again.
Metalstorm is slow and boring, with lazily paced action scenes and a boring as fuck hero. Sure, he gets to fight Richard Moll (Bull from Night Court) and snuggle with a very young -- and very gorgeous -- Kelly Preston, but who gives a shit.
I should, because who doesn't want to fight Bull from Night Court, and snuggle with Kelly Preston prior to John Travolta getting his mitts on her, but I just can't.
So boring hero, boring action scenes, weak special effects, and a lot of shots of people driving around. And none of it in 3D. Fuck you, Metalstorm. Hard. You rate an Ugly.
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