From the Corner: Apollo 18 (2011)

Space is a big, wonderous place.

Unless you're in a horror movie that is...

Unknown to the world, the cancelled Apollo 18 mission of 1974 did occur. Three astronauts went to the moon on a secret military mission, only for things to go horribly wrong. This is their footage... and their terrifying story...

I wanted to see this movie because of the premise: Astronauts go to the moon, and discover we are NOT alone.

The story was blah. The story was dull. The story was boring.

The characters were blah. The characters were dull. The characters were boring.

The actors were blah. The actors were dull. The actors were boring.

The aliens were blah. The aliens were dull. The aliens were boring.

The movie was blah. The movie was dull. The movie was boring.

I think you can guess where this movie's going...

Yep. Right into "The Ugly"

SPOILER ALERT!

The space aliens on the moon... are fucking rocks.

SPOILER ALERT!

Yeah, fuck you "Apollo 13"...

Comments

#CocktailHour: Slushtail

Summer approaches, inspiring thoughts of sunshine, backyard parties, and having a tip and sip with friends. With that in mind, I bring you this week sunny beverage. To make a slushtail, mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade (or limeade), a can of pineapple juice, a couple cups of black tea (or English Breakfast), and two cups of bourbon- such as Southern Comfort, in a pitcher. When it's all nicely mixed, put it in the freezer until it's a nice slushy consistency. Scoop the slush into a cocktail glass, and pour in some Sprite or 7-Up. Add a little umbrella for some frivolous fun, and a straw. Voila! Ready to enjoy. This is a very refreshing drink. The fruit juices, Sprite, and bourbon- when chilled makes for a great punch-like drink. The bourbon doesn't overwhelm juices. In fact, they are all nicely balanced in terms of flavors. The sourness of the citrus fruits contrasts well with the slightly sweeter Southern Comfort. It was refreshing enou

Unlock your fate with The Puzzle

When my dad wasn't working, building stuff or being my dad, he was making puzzles. It was a guaranteed way for him to unwind. So it was with great interest that I sat down to watch Italian filmmaker Davide Melini's award-winning short The Puzzle. You see, the mother in the five-minute film likes to relax with puzzles just like my dad. Unfortunately, her good-for-nothing son keeps harassing her for money. Losing herself in her favourite passtime, the mother soon discovers that completing this puzzle might unlock a nightmare. The Puzzle has been an official selection at more European film festivals than you can shake a stick at, and was voted Third Best Italian Film at the Rome International Film Festival in 2008. Having watched it, I'm not surprised. It's a tight little film that hits you hard in the final few seconds. You can tell Melini cut his teeth as an assistant director for legendary Italian filmmaker Dario Argento. But enough chit chat on my part. See if yo

The Animated Addict: "The Adventures of Tintin" (2011)

If you're a 40 + white dude, like myself, you may remember a comic series called " The Adventures of Tintin ". I know I remember them. This series, dating back to 1929, got turned into a animated feature film by Steven Spielberg in 2011. After buying a model of ship called The Unicorn, teenaged journalist Tintin finds himself on adventure that will take him from the high seas, to the low deserts, and from the distant past to the present. With his trusty dog, Snowy, by his side, Tintin uncovers a story connecting two men across the centuries.. . The story is really quite good. It's well crafted, and high paced- with just enough slow moments to build and develop the world and the characters. This is the sort of adventure story you'd find in the old serials of the 1930's and '40's. In fact, it felt like it was the sort of tale that you'd find Indiana Jones undertaking. I found myself swept up, and swept along as our hero swung from one e

Search This Blog