Saturday, February 13, 2016
Kevin Watt versus Cabin Fever (2016)
Let’s start with the cast – a gathering of CW teen TV show throwaways that will never hear James Lipton recite Bernard Pivot’s questionnaire. The sheriff who reads every line as a sexual innuendo. The townsfolk who apparently were recruited from a failed roadshow of Deliverance. There is not a redeeming character, or a well delivered line, from beginning to end.
Everything you may have liked about Eli Roth’s original has been whitewashed. It is overproduced losing the gritty feel of the original. None of the humour works with a cast that cannot deliver the lines. Even the gore is tamer, although more frequent, in this script.
There is no reason to invest the 1h:38m that this movie will steal from your life. If you absolutely must have flesh-eating bacteria this Valentine’s weekend, download the original.