Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Kevin Watt versus The Last Witch Hunter
The story features Vin Diesel playing an 800-year-old immortal witch hunter named Dom Toretto. Sorry, I mean Xander Cage. No wait, his name in this one was Kaulder – Vin Diesel only knows how to play one character so does the name really matter? He is joined alongside GOT’s Ygritte (Rose Leslie), Frodo (Elijah Woods) and for reasons that I cannot comprehend they were able to recruit Michael Caine as Kaulder’s handler and confidant. Together they are on a mission to save the world from dark magic.
If you are looking for a solid plot, competent story telling and compelling characters then you are going to be disappointed. The Last Witch Hunter is a dud with more magic dust than Scarface and an implausible solution to every impossible problem. But if you are looking for Vin Diesel as a witch-slaying, death-defying badass slicing and dicing his way through a trashy plot then get out the popcorn and enjoy. The film moves very quickly and never lags long enough to regret hitting the ‘play’ button. And as with all good Vin Diesel movies, you will come out of it with some great one-liners.
Right from the opening scene The Last Witch Hunter doesn’t promise you anything so you shouldn’t expect it to deliver. Like the B-movies of the Carpenter days (John, not Karen), this movie is entertainment for entertainment sake and will fall apart under a critical eye or even common sense. Just let it be what it is, enjoy the show and don’t worry, you’ll soon enough forget that you even saw it.