Friday, November 16, 2012

Jason and Shawn review Grave Encounters 2 and Maximum Conviction

Grave Encounters 2

Shawn: I’ve got to say, right off the bat, that I’m disappointed in this movie. It was more of the same recipe. That made it boring. Not Shorts Shitting at all. I was really hoping to shit my shorts, you know?

I’m not even sure how to critique this one. It was the same. But not fresh. Worn out, same old, boo.

I’m just going to give this an Ugly.


Jason: Grave Encounters 2 isn't that scary. And it suffers as many horror sequels of the 80 suffered by taking elements of the original and repeating them. But The Vicious Brothers and director John Poliquin do try damn hard to add new elements to the film.

I really dug the whole meta approach, especially the first 40 minutes or so, which are awesome. Also liked how they brought Sean Rogerson back and expanded the mythology of the asylum.

The cast wasn't as likable this time around, although I could look at Leanne Lapp all day. Hot chicks go a long way in a movie like this. And some some of the monsters, especially the tall, big-mouthed thing, were freaky.

All in all, this wasn't as good as Grave Encounters, but I still enjoyed it. Enough to watch it again? I don't know. Gonna give it a Bad me thinks.

Maximum Conviction

Shawn: Fat Steven Seagal, you so awesome. Still. Every ambiance that is you, is here.

This movie was pretty neat, same style as most Seagal movies, but sometimes the chemistry hits just right. This was a good-chemistry Seagal movie. I dug it, was entertained mindlessly by it, and so would even watch this one again. I would because I’m able to watch most Seagal movies more than once. IN our universe, that ranks it a Good.

No delusion here. This is not an award-winning movie by any stretch. I just dug it. I think other Seagal fans will too.

Jason: Oh, Steven Seagal, how the mighty have fallen. Sure, we've been aware of this for some time. Otherwise we wouldn't have spent the last couple of season's making fat jokes about you. Of all the 80s action guys, you've fared the worse. And it shows.

Had the fight scenes in Maximum Conviction not been so good, and the two chicks so hot, this would rate an Ugly. My film-school nerd bristled at the shitty, shitty dialogue and lame acting, especially Seagal and Stone Cold Steve Austin. Someone needs to tell Seagal to stop saying “Man” so much and acting like a surfer dude. You're not. You're a 60-year-old former action star. Deal with it.

But the fight scenes are awesome. Every one of them. Even Seagal, when he takes a few moments to put down his bucket of chicken, kicks serious ass. His final beat down on Michael Pare is epic. Nice to see Pare in something as well.

In the end, this is Bad to the bone, man.

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