Saturday, March 17, 2012

Jason and Shawn review: 2-Headed Shark Attack and Robotropolis

2-Headed Shark Attack

Jason: I was pretty much done with Asylum movies until 2-Headed Shark Attack came along. Not that this is the Oscar winner of Asylum films, but it's a fuck of a lot better than 11-11-11, The Amityville Haunting or Mega Shark Vs. Whatever. For one, we get boobies! And girl on girl action. And some bloody and cool kills. Plus there's a 2-Headed Shark. And it attacks people. But what has plagued The Asylum in the past continues to do so here. At least one character just appears part way through the film. Special effects shots are reused over and over. You get my drift. And Carmen Electra, you have not aged well. You're my age, and I'm prettier than you. A Bad from me!

Shawn: Man, who didn’t crank a load off to Carmen Electra, back in the day? Truly! As the years went by, it kind a looked like they were a little hard on her. Still nice looking, but a second to Hulk Hogan’s daughter, Brooke, in this movie. And I’m pretty sure those were the most peculiar words I’ve ever spoke. I was pleasantly surprised by this flick, as on top of the cheapest effects on earth that even “youtubers” can do better than, they used some conventional effects too! Thanks. I definitely give this a Bad, but if you are a hardcore “BEEEE-er” (not beer), you may get a kick out of this. And boobs. Not Carmen’s or Hogan’s….but boobies, nonetheless.

Robotropolis

Shawn: This movie started out pretty alright. Decent news / investigative report style. But then it took a dive into a dumpster of shit. Truly. This movie had sooooooooo much potential to be awesome, and I wanted to love it. Really. But where I normally don’t let poor acting bother me, this movie had the WORST acting I’ve ever seen. It might as well have been a motherfucking musical. I have all kinds of hate for this movie. Why? Because they made cool robots go on a rampage! But had actors that must have ate the clam from a dead hooker. They tried to care, but at the wrong times, awkward awkward. UGLY. UGLY UGLY.

Jason: Love movies like this or hate them, at least someone is making films about killer robots! Hollywood sure ain't, but someone is. For a low-budget movie, this is pretty well put together. The special effects work. There's blood, dozens of robots, and some 'splosions. And it all looks pretty decent. But, because all the money went into the FX budget, the filmmakers sure had to cheap out on the acting. Ninety per cent of the performers seriously suck! Only star Zoe Naylor was decent, and she looks good. Despite the boobs and the blood, I gotta give this a Bad. I appreciate what those involved tried to achieve here, but the acting seriously hurt the end product!

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