Skip to main content

The Month of Horror Day 22: The Swarm

Basement contributor Matt Bellamy has taken it upon himself to watch and review at least one horror movie a day for the month of October . . . because he's awesome that way! And Bellamy has The Basement buzzing with his latest entry.

It's my site. I can make all the bad puns I want. Wanna fight about it!?! 

A movie that would make Nicolas Cage in 'The Wicker Man' proud--"NO!! NOT THE BEES!!!". 'The Swarm' is easily the worst entry this month as just about everything in this "Man vs. Bee" horror flick is wall-to-wall atrocious. What were they even thinking!? Actually, for a time in the 70's, the threat of Africanized killer bees migrating to the U.S. was a very real possibility and people freaked out about it. Yes, killer bees can be found in some of the southern states but it was not anywhere near the apocalyptic scenario many feared however before the public realized that, filmmakers decided to capitalize on it!

'The Swarm' is directed by "Mr. Disaster" Irwin Allen who was responsible for 'The Poseiden Adventure', 'Earthquake', and 'The Towering Inferno'. There is no doubt that this is the worst one of those films although 'Earthquake' is no great shakes either. Heh. One thing all of those movies have in common is that somehow they were all able to attract massive casts of big name actors and 'The Swarm' is no different with Michael Caine, Richard Widmark, Katherine Ross, Henry Fonda, Slim Pickens, Patty Duke, and Richard Chamberlain filling out the ranks--did any of them read the script?? I'm not even kidding you when I say that the bulk of the movie is just people running away from horribly visualized swarms of "bees", it's almost as bad (almost) as Mark Wahlberg and company fleeing in terror from A GENTLE BREEZE in 'The Happening'.

There is one thing I did heartily enjoy about this movie though and I don't mind that it makes me sound like a horrible person for gleefully laughing at it: thousands of people die! Yeah, the body count here is fairly impressive although it's all mostly non-violent; how crazy can bee stings be, right? Also, lots of kids die which is cool because you just don't see that very often in movies these days. An elementary school is wiped right out, children dying everywhere, and I chuckled through all of it because obviously it's SUPPOSED to be terrible but it's so cheesy and idiotic that it's impossible to keep a straight face!

Ugh, don't watch this movie, go lick your toilet seat clean instead.





Enhanced by Zemanta

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

#CocktailHour: Slushtail

  Summer approaches, inspiring thoughts of sunshine, backyard parties, and having a tip and sip with friends.  With that in mind, I bring you this week sunny beverage. To make a slushtail, mix a can of frozen orange juice, a can of frozen lemonade (or limeade), a can of pineapple juice, a couple cups of black tea (or English Breakfast), and two cups of bourbon- such as Southern Comfort, in a pitcher.  When it's all nicely mixed, put it in the freezer until it's a nice slushy consistency. Scoop the slush into a cocktail glass, and pour in some Sprite or 7-Up.  Add a little umbrella for some frivolous fun, and a straw. Voila!  Ready to enjoy. This is a very refreshing drink.  The fruit juices, Sprite, and bourbon- when chilled makes for a great punch-like drink.  The bourbon doesn't overwhelm juices.   In fact, they are all nicely balanced in terms of flavors.  The sourness of the citrus fruits contrasts well with the slightly sweeter Southern Comfort.  It was refreshing enou

Marcus Flor vs Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

In film, there's nothing I enjoy more than passionate creativity. Compared to the sea of mediocrity surrounding it, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is practically overflowing with it. This animated movie is vibrant, kinetic, and extremely inventive with its art style. On top of all that, this is just a solid movie. It tells its story with sincerity and tact, always focusing on the important aspects of Miles' emotional journey. The script wastes no time on pointless scenes or moments, which also gives the film an energetic rhythm that draws you in. One of the other great aspects of this movie is its reinvention of the Spider-Man story. It's clever writing demonstrates a true understanding of the webslinger, and offers commentary on the current state of his movie adaptations. In the end, you get a film both Spidey fans and non-fans can enjoy. Above all other aspects, what I like most about Spider-Verse is how fun it is. It demonstrates quality animation and filmmaking doesn

From The Basement - the "final" three

Just a gentle reminder From The Basement returns next Friday -- June 11 -- to the mighty Radio NL with an all-new episode! That's the good news. The bad news it'll be the first of our final three prime-time shows. What, you might ask? Are you bastards quitting AGAIN!?!? No. No we're not. We learned our lesson the last time. Shawn and I's long-running show will return to being "just a podcast," and not adhering to any set broadcast schedule. Why, you ask? Our lives are becoming increasingly busy outside of The Basement, and it's getting harder for Shawn and I to keep up with the latest movies, TV shows and entertainment news. We'd rather cease our weekly duties than produce an inferior product. Simple as that. Much thanks to Howie Reimer and the Radio NL crew for hosting us the last three years, first as a Friday morning segment, then as a prime-time series. It's been a blast! Don't worry, we're not coasting on these last three episodes. T